It started with knock knock jokes:
Knock, knock? Who’s there? CowSays. CowSays Who? No! Cow Says Moo!
Knock, knock? Who’s there? A little old lady. A little old lady who? Wow! All this time I had no idea you could yodel!
Knock, knock? Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it until later
Knock, knock? Who’s there? To. To who? It’s to whom.
Then progressed to riddles:
Q: What has a head, a tail, is brown and has no legs? A: A penny
Q: David’s father has three sons : Snap, Crackle and _____ ? A: David
Q: There are two monkeys on a tree and one jumps off. Why does the other monkey jump too? A: Monkey see, monkey do
Q: A farmer has 17 sheep and all but nine die. How many are left alive? A: 9
Then on to corny jokes:
Q: What is the worst vegetable to have on a ship? A: A leek
Q: What did Sir Lancelot wear to bed? A: A knight gown
Q: Why are teddy bears never hungry? A: Because they’re always stuffed.
Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet? A: You look flushed.
Q: Which side of a duck has more feathers? A:The outside
The two 9-year-old boys in the back seat of the Jeep repeating every silly joke they had ever heard, and when those ran out, they began creating their own:
Q: What do spies eat instead of McDonald’s? A: Spydonalds
Q: What do you call a shark that bites? A: A shark bite
Q: Why did the chicken marry the crocodile? A: So he could say crocodoladoo
Many times I tried to get them to look out the window and enjoy the beautiful scenery of Moab — but my nephew had “been there and done that” and didn’t seem interested in the red rock arches or the crazy trails we were following my brother-in-law through, and my son was too excited about seeing his cousin — so the jokes continued. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore. I began to fight fire with fireflies:
Q: What did the firefly do when he ran into the fan? A: Nothing he was de-lighted.
Q: What did the comedian say when he took off his clothes? A: Haven’t you ever seen a comic strip?
Q: Where do Volkswagens go when they get old? A: The old Volks home
Q: What was the last thing that went through the bug’s mind as he hit the windshield? A: His butt
Q: What happened when the cannibal showed up late to the dinner party? A: He got the cold shoulder
It lasted all day, until the boys were begging me to stop with the corny dinner jokes. I thought about trying, but I just couldn’t quit cold turkey.
The jokes weren’t always funny, but I still laughed when they got to the punch line. They were making forever memories even without realizing it.
The holidays may be behind us, but take a moment to look around at your friends and family (even when they bombard you for hours with corny jokes) and remember the good times, the funny memories and count the blessings that are in your life.