To the Editor:
We are number one! Congratulations to all in Grant County who made this achievement possible. We are leading everyone else in the race to become the designated COVID-19 sweet spot.
How, you may ask, did we achieve such prodigious recognition? Well, it was not easy. Firstly we had to embrace the antivax movement, even though President Trump announced on April 17 that the antivax push was a "deranged pseudo-science" (his words, not mine, I assure you). We got over that hurdle only to be hit with the CDC propagandist Dr. Rochelle Walensky, director of the CDC, who tried to sway us with this: “Vaccinated people do not carry the virus, they don’t get sick, they do not spread the disease. That’s not just in the clinical trials, it’s also in real-world data.”
But we persevered. We spurned the needle, we tossed the masks, we proudly shut our businesses down, we gladly closed our schools. We could not be tempted away from our lofty goal.
And we won! Number one COVID-19 sanctuary! Go team.